I remember when I first got my hands on drums. I was with my ex-boyfriend, in his room, and there happened to be a drum kit. I was 17, and I instantly loved drums. It wasn't the first time I felt that calling and power in my hands. I was a kid when I first heard and saw the first drum kit I ever came across. It was alluring, and I loved it ever since. Later, I got my hands on drums again, and played it whenever I possibly can. I keep trying to discover ways to be with my love, drums, music, and now I can only carry its essence with me in my heart. I still remember the rhythm flowing through me, my heart beating out loud in coordination to the feelings around.
I lost power when I no longer had access to playing drums. I remember staring at it, all dissembled in my room. It's glowing dark shell shines brightly in the light, casting reflections upon the shadows of my life. I had to sell my heart and soul, in bits and pieces because I were not able to figure out a way for it to survive in my world. I was powerless, like watching the relationship falling apart when my mind collapsed with a first love of mine. I am glad to see him off doing well, and I wish him the best, perhaps for the better. There were many powerless moments in my life, where I absolutely had no control over situations externally from my grasp. Usually these moments strangle right on my heart, and I get the front seat view.
I will continue to search for something more. I am always astounded by my unfailing breaths. Sometimes I force myself to be active, walk, run, move on, from the darkness from my past kept away withdrawn. I try my best to enchant the good things into my life, and create the creation I am blindly trying to seek. I am hoping that my efforts in keeping myself healthy, and moving on are for the better for myself.
When I Was A Limitless Child
When I was a limitless child
I was angry, frustrated, tossed away
Abandoned, astray
In love, I flailed
To the world, I trailed
Behind broken glasses
Broken Memories
Forfeited Promises
Never ending lies
I blindly hoped
Wished
Begged
Pleaded
Cried
Tried
Fought
For nothing
I dreamt of being an actress, famous
Understanding more
Wanting more
Imagining there is more
To what for
I still do not know
On broken shells
Life does not really get better
So until the day the moment comes
I will remain so still
In this cycle
Still
Excellent post, Jenny.
ReplyDeleteYour power through drumming is a great example of your power - finding and connecting to the rhythms of life, etc... You could use that power where you land (work, love, school). Some people never find their rhythm. Some people can't find the rhythms around them. I also play drums, and I find it to be very meditative - almost hypnotic - how your mind turns off and your body keeps itself in tune.
Your writing is excellent, but I think you could expand upon your third paragraph. This one seems short and general. Think about how you could maybe choose one or two empowering techniques, and then write about how, specifically, you could apply them to your daily routine. Don't let your last paragraph be your weakest - that's the one that will stick the most in the memory of your readers.
Your poem - very beautiful. This poem is a bit more macabre than I expected, but that's ok. You find beauty in it right away.
I particularly like the line: On broken shells. Great imagery. Sharp pain.
This is excellent. Stay focused and try to expand each week - writing more, getting deeper and more honest... and you'll be on the right track.
GR: 94